Choice of Where I Were To Die

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It was a lovely day, and I decided to sit on a park bench to enjoy the warmth and flowers. Two elderly men were sitting nearby. “You know, if I had a choice of where I were to die.” More

Auction Mishap

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My sister, Ruby, and I decided to leave home and get a place of our own. We went to a crowded auction where we spotted a bed that would be perfect.

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Steam Room

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My husband, Robert, repeatedly told me how relaxing he found the steam room in the YMCA. Since I had never used one before, I decided to give it a try. I opened the door, went into the empty room and sat down. It was warm and comfortable, and I thought: Robert’s right. This is great! Then the door opened, and a woman walked in. “Do you mind if I turn it on?” she asked.

-Loretta Whitehorn

In Other Words

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TOURIST: One who travels to see things that are different and then complains when they aren’t the same.

-Dublin Opinion

EDUCATION: What’s left when you’ve forgotten everything you ever learned.

-Quoted by George Plimpton in Esquire

JOURNALIST: A person with nothing on his mind and the power to express it.

-Russell Baker, There’s a Country in My Cellar

ECONOMIST: Someone who doesn’t have the personality to be an accountant.

-Robert Reich

FOOTBALL FAN: A guy who yells at the quarterback for missing a receiver 46 yards down field and then can’t find his own car in the parking lot after the game.

-Quoted by Ann Landers, Creators Syndicate

EXPERT: A person who may not have all the answers but is sure he could get them with the proper funding.

-Ivern Ball in The Wall Street Journal

Brief Assignment

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When my husband was attending a night-school English class, his teacher announced, “For your assignment, I want you to describe yourselves in ten words or fewer.”

My husband wrote, “Succinct.”

-Sherry Entrekin

P.S.: Succinct means brief and to point, expressed with brevity and clarity, with no wasted words.


Curious Boy In A Funeral

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While driving my two young sons to a funeral, I tried to prepare them by talking about burial and what we believe happens after death. The boys behaved well during the long service, but at the grave site I discovered my explanations weren’t as thorough as I’d initially thought. In a loud voice, my four-year-old asked, “Mum, what’s in the box?”

-Ginny Richards

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