Why is revenge wrong? by Dushka Zapata Revenge is bad for a lot of reasons, but one of them is that it forces you to focus your energy on another instead of on yourself.
Answer by Dushka Zapata:
A beloved friend of mine is in the middle of a nasty divorce and spends a lot of time thinking about how to get back at him.
She and her closest friends talk badly about him and his behavior, how he wronged her, what a bad person he turned out to be.
He cheated on her.
In her mind, he carries all the blame. She is the victim.
How many times has she been in a similar situation?
How many things in common does he or his behavior have with her past relationships?
I don’t mean to imply she is at fault.
What I am saying is that if he carries all of the blame, she carries none of the power.
This same pattern will present itself over and over, because she places the blame on another, which frees her of responsibility and leads to her continuing to do the very same things.
We already know that doing the very same things lead to the same result.
Revenge is bad for a lot of reasons, but one of them is that it forces you to focus your energy on another instead of on yourself.
I would much rather she turn her attention on identifying what she needs to do differently so that she never has to go through something like this again.