Why is revenge wrong?

Why is revenge wrong? by Dushka Zapata  Revenge is bad for a lot of reasons, but one of them is that it forces you to focus your energy on another instead of on yourself.

Answer by Dushka Zapata:

A beloved friend of mine is in the middle of a nasty divorce and spends a lot of time thinking about how to get back at him.

She and her closest friends talk badly about him and his behavior, how he wronged her, what a bad person he turned out to be.

He cheated on her.

In her mind, he carries all the blame. She is the victim.

How many times has she been in a similar situation?

How many things in common does he or his behavior have with her past relationships?

I don’t mean to imply she is at fault.

What I am saying is that if he carries all of the blame, she carries none of the power.

This same pattern will present itself over and over, because she places the blame on another, which frees her of responsibility and leads to her continuing to do the very same things.

We already know that doing the very same things lead to the same result.

Revenge is bad for a lot of reasons, but one of them is that it forces you to focus your energy on another instead of on yourself.

I would much rather she turn her attention on identifying what she needs to do differently so that she never has to go through something like this again.

Why is revenge wrong?

What are the top ten things I should experience in life?

What are the top ten things I should experience in life? by Piyush Verma

Answer by Piyush Verma:

  1. Stage fright
    It makes you confident.

  2. Adventure Sports
    They make you feel alive and the make you understand the importance of each and every breath.
  3. Solitude
    To awaken your inner self.
  4. Life in Hostels (college, universities)
    Gives you the sense of being ordinary and crazy at the same time.
  5. Live with a dog.
    They will make you realize what unconditional love is.
  6. Experience the beauty of Nature
  7. Listen to stories of war survivors
    It makes them happy and proud of themselves.

  8. Take your parents out for a fancy dinner on your own money. Gives you the feeling of contentment.
  9. Fall in love
    as much as you can, all the pain is worth it.
  10. Try to bring a smile on the face of a child.
    You'll love the feeling.

These are some things I feel a person should experience in their life time. They might not be the top ten, but they are as important as anything else.
Cheers!!

What are the top ten things I should experience in life?

What can you teach me that can be useful in my life?

What can you teach me that can be useful in my life? by Bassam Atheeque

Answer by Bassam Atheeque:

The 15 Cardinal Rules of Life:

  1. Good Relationship > Being Single >>>>>> Shitty Relationship
  2. Never leave your parents. NO MATTER WHAT
  3. Personality is not set in stone. You are able to take control or change it the way you like.
  4. People say “Follow your heart”. Not in every situation guys. Instead “Listen to your heart. Act With Your Brain”
  5. Never get confused to select between love and friendship. Both has its part to play
  6. Try to replace SORRY with THANK YOU in certain situations. For example, instead of saying “Sorry for being late”, you can say “Thank you for waiting”. It sounds more diplomatic.
  7. Never get too emotionally attached to anyone except your parents
  8. People say “Follow your passion”, I agree but with a slight modification. I believe “Follow your passion only if it is worthwhile”. Don’t rub two wet stones to make a fire. Rethink #4
  9. Time heals almost everything. Give some time and experience the change
  10. Thoughts control your Feelings. Feelings control your Actions. Actions control your Results. POSITIVE THOUGHTS = POSITIVE RESULTS
  11. When in anger, isolate yourself. Give yourself some time. Finally think about the situation again with a calm mind
  12. SMOKING, DRINKING, GETTING HIGH ISN’T COOL. The sooner you realise it, the better your life would be.
  13. Stop complaining all the time. SHIT HAPPENS. That is life. Learn to have an optimistic approach
  14. Ponder over #4 and #8 again
  15. Don’t just read; start ANSWERING in Quora. But not primarily for upvotes or followers. Experiment with your vocab, come up with new ideas, share your experiences, build your skills! Things come to you when they have to!

What can you teach me that can be useful in my life?

What can I do to make sure I am becoming the best version of myself?

What can I do to make sure I am becoming the best version of myself? by Ken Mazaika

Answer by Ken Mazaika:

I identified 21 actions that could help you become the best version of yourself.

#19 is the most actionable of them all.

1. Just show up. Say you want to run a marathon, but have no prior experience. The first step is lacing up you shoes and hitting the pavement. Even if you only make it half a mile on your first training run, you’ll be about 2% closer to your ultimate goal than if you didn’t put in any work at all.

2. Start from the beginning. You don’t just happen to stumble upon the best version of yourself. You need to start from the beginning and take a high number of small steps in order to become what you envision.

3. Recognize that the best version of yourself should be your vision, not anybody else’s. Don’t waste energy trying to live up to what somebody else wants you to be.

4. Stop looking for a secret trick. There is no miraculous shortcut to the better version of yourself.

5. Use Twitter to network. It’s never been easier to get in touch with influential and powerful people. Earlier in my career, I reached out a high-level executive of a company I was interested in. He was hosting an AMA session on Twitter. I asked him for advice about how to get hired for his company, and not only did he reply with some helpful tips, he also connected me with specific people at the company about an open position.

6. Don’t sweat the details. Just make sure that you’re moving in the right general direction. You probably don’t have the knowledge you need today to know the shortest path to your happiness 5 years from today. But you probably have some idea about how to move in the right direction. Take those steps.

7. Recognize the opportunity at hand. The Internet has fundamentally changed everything. Previously, knowledge was locked away in the minds of industry experts and in the pages of books that you needed to buy or check out from a library. But now, it’s easier than ever to learn new skills. This is essential to becoming the best version of yourself.

8. Write on Medium. Translating your thoughts into written narratives pushes you to think about the ideas in your head at a much deeper level.

9. Don’t count the hours. They don’t matter. Think about the last time you ran on a treadmill. If you looked down at the timer every few seconds, you probably didn’t enjoy your run. In turn, this made it far more difficult to run far.

But what if you took the opposite approach? You plugged in your headphones, lost yourself in the music, and took it one stride at a time….while resisting any temptation to look at the timer at all. If you did this, you probably discovered that you enjoyed the run and made it pretty far. Counting hours just slows you down from reaching your goal.

10. Accept help from other people. Don’t let your pride get in the way. Most successful people needed help along the way, too.

11. Launch a personal website. Maintaining an online presence of yourself pushes you to become the best possible version of you.

12. Write answers on Quora. Quora is an amazing place to help and inspire people at scale.

13. Ignore the social media scoreboard. People depict an extremely exaggerated version of life on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and other social platforms. We only share the good things, not the bad. So when you compare yourself to what you see on social media, you’re just hurting yourself.

14. Celebrate the small wins. Appreciating what you’re doing in the present gives you the motivation to keep making strides towards your ultimate goal.

15. Stop pretending to know things you don’t know. You’ll never learn anything if you pretend to already know everything.

16. Embrace failure. You can’t become the best version of yourself by playing it safe. Heck, getting fired could even be the best thing that ever happened to you, just look at Noah Kagan (employee 30 at Facebook).

17. Call your family. This is just the decent thing to do. But you can also learn lessons from your family that aren’t available through any Google search and aren’t accessible to pretty much anyone else in the world.

18. Exercise in the morning. Once I started doing this in the morning, I became far more focused and relaxed throughout the day. Science backs that up, too.

19. Create a side project. Doing something productive outside of work that makes you happy helps you become a better version of yourself. So, whatever it is…an app, film, album, whatever….start doing it on your nights and weekends. And who knows? It might just turn into a full-time job that you love.

20. Help other people become the best version of themselves. Pay it forward. Doing so keep you motivated on your own path, and you’ll find that the lasting connections you build from helping others will greatly benefit you moving forward.

21. Launch your MVP early. If you’re not satisfied with the current version of yourself, then the quickest way to solve the problem is to begin working towards the better version today. There is no “right time” to get started.

It can be tempting to think about the best version of yourself as some intangible point in the future. You know, the one where you are:

  • More successful
  • Doing what you love
  • Existing as an overall happier person

You see your current self as the regular season, and you’re just waiting for the playoffs to start before giving it your all.

But if all you do is wait for the best version of yourself to happen, you’re forever going to be stuck with the current version.

So, how do you launch the best version of yourself? Start making progress today.

Sometimes, you need to make a big change in order to unleash the best version of yourself. If one thought recently entered your mind, then it’s time to do it.

If you liked my answer, I’d really appreciate it if you upvoted it by pressing the light blue button below.

What can I do to make sure I am becoming the best version of myself?

What are the five most important things for a man to learn in life?

What are the five most important things for a man to learn in life? by James Altucher

Answer by James Altucher:

I'm 48. Here's what a man should know.

A) QUIT YOUR JOB

You can't get rich at a job. You have to get rich by either starting a business or having multiple streams of income.

Don't quit your job tomorrow. Be a man. Be responsible. Just do it over time but every day move towards this goal.

Why do you need to get rich? Is this particular to a man?

Not really. Woman should do this also. But historically, men in our society have been the bread earners and you will feel better about yourself if you can do it.

So do it.

B) DON’T LET SOMEONE ELSE VALIDATE YOU

If you want to make a TV show, make a video. If you want to write a book, write it and self-publish.

If you want to be an investment banker, find one company that wants to get sold and another company that wants to buy it and put yourself in the middle. You don't need to be "chosen" by Goldman Sachs.

If you want an education, find a way to learn online. You don't need to get a degree in X to be X (unless legally).

C) HEALTH.

Men die earlier than women.

There's really only three keys to better health. I'll add a fourth.

Sleep well. Eat well. Low stress. And to help all of the above go faster, exercise.

Fill in the blanks how you want to get the above done. It doesn't matter. As long as you are aware of how important the above four towards living to be 100 with high quality of life then you will do it.

D) DON’T OUTSOURCE YOUR SELF ESTEEM

Sometimes I've met a woman and I've basically given her all of my self-esteem to take care of.

Then she gets tired of me, bored of me, and dumps me, and now she's taken my self-esteem away until i find it again.

It's hard enough for any one person to manage their own self-esteem, let alone yours.

Take care of your own self-esteem.

E) CREATIVITY

When you are creative, you become competent. Every day try to do one creative thing a day that makes you feel good.

This is one way to make yourself your priority and never anyone else.

Does this seem selfish? It totally is.

But 1% a day improvement in creativity compounds you into a giant among people.

You will feel good, you will have better relationships with people, you will be able to do what you want.


Oh, there’s one more and it’s basically obvious. Always be honest. See? Obvious.

Do I do these things? I can tell you that when I haven't my life has fallen apart. And when I have, I can do whatever I want.

What are the five most important things for a man to learn in life?

How do I become more intelligent and have better conversations?

Answer by Matthew Manning:

Here is how:

  1. Do all of the obvious things that people are going to suggest and that you could probably figure out yourself.  Chief among these is, of course, reading more.  Read all the time, even when you are waiting in line at the DMV, even when you are in the bathroom.
  2. Don't forget reference books. When I was a kid I would pore over encyclopedias.  These days you can do much better with Wikipedia.  Read the articles you like, look at the pictures, try to understand the tables.  Go on Wikipedia adventures, clicking from one thing to the next, and try to figure out how you started at Woodwinds and ended up at Beastie Boys.
  3. Try to unlock fine art.  Try really hard to read poems and figure out what they mean or what the author was talking about.  Pick out one picture in a museum and stare at it for an hour.  This will feel like an exercise in futility at first, but it will get easier over time and you will be amazed at how enlightening it can be.
  4. Spend more time in coffee shops (or any other social, creative space).  Listen to the conversations around you.  Even if you think people are morons for what they are talking about, just listen to them.  Try to determine if you agree or disagree and why.  If you feel compelled, butt into a conversation and see what happens.
  5. Watch more documentaries.  Documentaries zero in on a small slice of life and pull it apart for nearly two hours.  The specific illuminates the whole – this the key to increasing intellect.  Try to see the connections to how small microcosms represent larger working systems.  This is how you better acquaint yourself with metaphor.  Metaphor is the great tool of the human mind, and it's what separates us from the beasts.
  6. Spend less time trying to absorb the "noise" and pay attention to the specific "signals" that interest you.  There is a deluge of bullshit information that is thrown at your everyday, and I don't hesitate to say ignore most of it.  Pop culture deadens the senses and fills up important storage space in your finite brain.  If you must take it in, do so with a critical and suspicious eye.  For more on this watch Carpenter's "They Live."
  7. Find the others.  Find other smart people and make friends with them.  Don't look to argue with them.  Try to understand them, debate respectfully, and learn from them.  For more on this: a quote by Timothy Leary

Now the most important question:  can you do it?

How do I become more intelligent and have better conversations?